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03 October 2009 @ 10:43 pm

Do you believe in ghosts?

Only after watching scary movies!
02 October 2009 @ 09:17 pm
The real real real dissonance comes from realizing it's stupid to give up on anything when you're only twenty seven.

When you know it'll all end in ruin, but you still can't help but hope for the best.
Current Mood: confusedconfused
11 September 2009 @ 10:29 pm
Well, the good thing about twenty seven is that I'm at least old enough to realize when I'm about to make the same mistake twice. Though, god, wasn't it a fun one? At least it's a familiarity though. And yes, nothing's ever the same twice, blah blah. Dating your insubordinate is rarely a good idea though, no? And now I can at least take a certain amount of pride in seeing the error early on.

However: It was never a bad idea. Really, one of the better things ever. But tangential learning occurs though, experiments can never be fully duplicated, and now's a much worse idea. There's liking someone in a safe environment and keeping them as a wonderful friend, and there's getting a crush on someone in a shit storm of retail drama. I don't need to add to that. I can barely keep my head above water in Calabasas as it is, let alone release my own maelstrom.

I fucking miss Colma though, most times, really. I would trade it every day. There's being good with good people, and there's being good with lazy inane people, and the choice is obvious.

And I was never tempted at Colma, not till the end at least. And then, it was a certain bittersweet reflection of what may have been for a time, but the rationality stayed, The fucking rationality. So glad for it sometimes, but that night not as much. Then the doubts. Doubts for exclusion chosen, paths not taken, etc. It couldn't have been, no, but it may have been nice. I was shaken like I hadn't been for long while. Was the right decision made? Could I have seen it before the last night? Would I have acted differently if I'd acknowledged earlier? I doubt it. I know myself better than to think I would have done differently if I'd recognized it before. I'm colder than I appear, you should know. Fucking rationality. And even know it's unclear whom I'm exactly referring to.

Still, nice to reaffirm the impulse still exists. And they are quite lovely. I can appreciate and let it go this time. It's different. I can only assume the universe laughs.

Los Angeles is wonderful. I see it as a woman, stretched, languished. San Francisco was a frenetic gay man as a city. LA is resplendent, lolled. I enjoy ignoring celebrities and cursing their bad driving equally. I hold strong to my love of quirks and a general air of Run Downness, which helps combat a certain status anxiety inherent in the atmosphere. It may be the only way I'll thrive here, and for that I can thank to empty hipsters of the north. Yes, you look good, but in the five hours it took you to get ready I planted 8 herbs, zombie-patched my bedding, and talked to three separate furry things about their day. LA doesn't care. It likes you anyway, no matter what. Which is why I may like it more. Sa Francisco was far too much caring, all around.
Current Location: los angeles, silverlake
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Men in Love - The Gossip
01 September 2009 @ 11:22 pm
Wild nights. Wild nights!
Were I with thee,
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile the winds
To a heart in port
Done with the compass
Done with the chart.

Rowing in Eden.
Ah, the sea.
Might I but moor
Tonight with thee!

I love Los Angeles far more than I thought I would, having looked south and down upon it for so much of my life. Even with the heat, even with the fires. I bloom.
Current Mood: happyhappy
16 July 2009 @ 12:37 pm

Vatican finally approves of Potter.
Current Mood: amusedamused
¡Estados Unidos!

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: TV: Kings
15 March 2009 @ 01:26 am
Current Mood: happyhappy
01 February 2009 @ 08:19 pm
I have shaped this now into some things I did not intend. The result is this:

Because I am self-indulgent and tend to nest. And dislike or think myself above many things, true or not. Weed has helped. Smoking a quarter of an ounce a week for two months has most certainly helped. I know, though. I just really didn't want to be a grownup again yet I think. Lazy haze. Or the other way. But now it's worked out that the venues I travel to cater to myself are obstacled just as I'm leaving town for a week. So we'll see. This makes it better:

As does finding out that a word I've hated forever actually means:

/ver'b*j/ n. A deliberate misspelling and mispronunciation of verbiage that assimilates it to the word `garbage'. More pejorative than "verbiage".

and to clarify why I love it so:

\ˈvər-bē-ij also -bij\
1 : a profusion of words usually of little or obscure content.

I was talking with Barbie and Cynthia today, and they both thought that my previous oh-so-hated boss picked up the word from my current boss, whom I pretty much adore 82% of the time. I think Current knows what it means, I would kick a kitten if I thought Previous knew, which just makes the verbal venom that much sweeter. Idiot. Fucking idiot. Past Me and Current Me are happy and triumphant.
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Alice Practice - Crystal Castles
23 January 2009 @ 08:27 pm
And it's just what... day four? Awesome. Because torture is actually wrong and abstinence-only programs have proven unsuccessful in preventing anyone to abstain from anything.

Obama orders Guantanamo closure.

US President Barack Obama has ordered the closure of the Guantanamo Bay prison camp as well as all overseas CIA detention centres for terror suspects. Signing the orders, Mr Obama said the US would continue to fight terror, but maintain "our values and our ideals".

He also ordered a review of military trials for terror suspects and a ban on harsh interrogation methods.
Continuing a flurry of announcements, he named his envoys to the Middle East, and to Afghanistan and Pakistan.

At Mr Obama's request, military judges have suspended several of the trials of suspects at Guantanamo so that the legal process can be reviewed.

Obama lifts ban on abortion funds.

US President Barack Obama has lifted a ban on federal funding for foreign family planning agencies that promote or give information about abortion. The US is one of the biggest supporters of family planning programmes globally, but former president George W Bush blocked funds for abortion services. Powerful anti-abortion groups in the US have criticised the lifting of the ban.

But aid agencies welcomed the move, saying it would promote women's health, especially in developing countries.
A White House spokesman said Mr Obama signed the executive order without asking for coverage by the media late on Friday afternoon.

The issue of abortion services remains controversial in the US, pitting pro-life conservative groups against more liberal, pro-choice Americans who back a woman's right to choose whether or not to have an abortion.
Current Mood: happyhappy
15 January 2009 @ 06:54 pm
Current Mood: happyPleased